Revision I need to work on
First I need to add a creative title. Because I didn't include the title in my third draft. When the readers read my essay they can't know my main topic. If I don't have a creative title I can't attract the readers to read my essay. Have a creative essay is very important.
Second I need to add thesis statement in my introduction paragraph. Thesis statement is very important too, because I need to use thesis statement to show my main point in the essay. I don't have thesis statement, I have to add some sentences to talk about how did I act the character to achieve the goals. I need to use my body paragraph to support my thesis statement. Thesis statement is just like heart, other organs need to support heart to continue working.
In the essay I didn't write lots of analysis of performance that correlates to literary interpretation and specific details about performance tactics. In the final draft I have to add more details for each quote. In the essay I wrote many quote but I didn't wrote many analysis. For each quote I only wrote three or four sentences. It's not enough and it's not specific. I also need to add more performance tactics such as rhetorical techniques, In "Glass Menagerie" the author used many rhetorical techniques. I need to write out and analyze them.
In the third draft my ending is boring. My conclusion didn't summarize the thing I did. The conclusion in the third draft can't reflect my work. It can't have an echo with the beginning. I can also add a hook or something to make the conclusion more readable and interesting. Ending sentence is just like the first paragraph, I can just explain my works and performance. I can write in a similar way as the first paragraph.
I need to add more details to make my essay more readable and interesting. My essay is not very clear. I need to organize my in a clear structure. I can't write the body paragraph in a complex sequence, because it will make the readers confuse. I have list the sequence first, then write the body paragraph. I also need interesting elements in my essay, because If readers keep reading analysis, they will feel boring. They are not willing to read till end.
In the essay I write lots of literal analysis and quote analysis, I didn’t write many self reflection, I need to add more. I also have to correct my MLA citation for quotation.
Second I need to add thesis statement in my introduction paragraph. Thesis statement is very important too, because I need to use thesis statement to show my main point in the essay. I don't have thesis statement, I have to add some sentences to talk about how did I act the character to achieve the goals. I need to use my body paragraph to support my thesis statement. Thesis statement is just like heart, other organs need to support heart to continue working.
In the essay I didn't write lots of analysis of performance that correlates to literary interpretation and specific details about performance tactics. In the final draft I have to add more details for each quote. In the essay I wrote many quote but I didn't wrote many analysis. For each quote I only wrote three or four sentences. It's not enough and it's not specific. I also need to add more performance tactics such as rhetorical techniques, In "Glass Menagerie" the author used many rhetorical techniques. I need to write out and analyze them.
In the third draft my ending is boring. My conclusion didn't summarize the thing I did. The conclusion in the third draft can't reflect my work. It can't have an echo with the beginning. I can also add a hook or something to make the conclusion more readable and interesting. Ending sentence is just like the first paragraph, I can just explain my works and performance. I can write in a similar way as the first paragraph.
I need to add more details to make my essay more readable and interesting. My essay is not very clear. I need to organize my in a clear structure. I can't write the body paragraph in a complex sequence, because it will make the readers confuse. I have list the sequence first, then write the body paragraph. I also need interesting elements in my essay, because If readers keep reading analysis, they will feel boring. They are not willing to read till end.
In the essay I write lots of literal analysis and quote analysis, I didn’t write many self reflection, I need to add more. I also have to correct my MLA citation for quotation.
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